Selfish


Before I was married I heard numerous times that marriage always reveals exactly how selfish one is. I tried to take that statement to heart, but it’s genuinely hard to comprehend until you’re in the situation. Now I totally get it. Bryan and I have been married for 42 days as I type this and I have been reminded countless times of what a selfish human being I am. We have gotten into numerous discussions in which we represent two very different opinions and I am constantly amazed that he doesn’t just see things the way I do and change his mind. Yeah, I pretty much always think I’m right. I want to clean the way I am accustomed to, and cook what I want to cook, and watch what I want to watch.

We have been learning that when we entered into marriage we had certain desires and certain expectations. However, when we each expected different things I quickly realized how selfish I am. Bryan and I are much alike in our Theology and the things that we feel really matter, but there are so many ways in which we differ. For a long time it was hard for me to have a disagreement with Bryan but he has slowly helped me realize that conflict and differences aren’t bad, it really just depends on how you handle the conflict. It’s easy to be selfish and always want my way. It is, however, Biblical for me to submit to Bryan, as long as he isn’t asking me to do anything contrary to Scripture. That one is still hard for my selfish will to swallow sometimes, but it’s also something I constantly try to remind myself.
I have also heard that having children also reveals how selfish and self-centered one is… 

No wonder so many couples decide on the “Five Year Plan”. It’s already a lot to chew on with just being married, I can’t imagine realizing even more how selfish I am. I know that in God’s timing He will bring the next step of this journey; I just don’t know if my pride can handle it too soon!

James 3:16-17 "For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."



Comments

  1. Maria MundyJuly 2, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    Ok, so I totally thought this was turning into a pregnancy announcement! LoL!

    But in all seriousness, it's awesome how fast (even though it may not feel that way) you (and Bryan) have realized this. The bad news, Sara... it's going to be a long and constant battle. It's something as a wife that you will always be working on. There will be times when it gets easier and times when it's really hard, but going through the hard times is what ultimately makes us (Christian women) learn, grow and walk closer to God. And Christ helping us to grow will ultimately be a blessing on our husbands, giving them the ability to focus on their relationship with Christ. It's something you have to constantly remind yourself and you're not alone in your struggles, Sara!! It's encouraging to see your humility in being willing to share these struggles. I'm always here for you & I keep you in my prayers. There is also a reason people say "the first year is the hardest" when really they should say the first year is an eye opener. Love you!

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