Dear Squirt (First Trimester)

Dear Squirt,

I can’t believe we’re already through the first trimester! It went by so fast! I think that is mostly due to how easy it’s been (and yes, I hesitate to say that). Honestly though, I only had some nausea a handful of times, and each time it only lasted about five minutes. I know, crazy. I heard horror stories about first trimester nausea and vomiting, and with working in a pregnancy center I’m sure I’ve heard some of the worst of the worst. The only other symptoms I really noticed were being a little extra tired (and super jealous of the ladies who told me to just nap whenever I can, like they did… Yeah right. I work full time and I’m married to a pastor. Naps don’t just happen like that), and some extra acne. Boy, oh boy, I wasn’t prepared for the acne. Oh well, my hormones are working overtime and if the main thing I have to show for that is acne, I can deal with it.

We had a little bit of a scare around week 11 when I had some spotting after a little longer run than usual, and I am ashamed to say I really freaked out. Working in a pregnancy center has its pros and cons, particularly during my own, personal, experience. One of the cons is knowing a bit too much about the risk of miscarriage and reciting the pain and bleeding precautions to women routinely. Well, then it happened to me and my mind traveled to the worst possible scenario. However, my OB was able to get me in right away, did an ultrasound, and you were just as happy and content as can be in there. Your heartbeat was strong and you were measuring exactly where you should. That certainly put my mama’s heart at ease and my tears switched instantly from those of panic to those of utter relief. I was told “no running” for at least two weeks, and even now, two weeks later I have to cautiously return to running a little at a time. In the mean time, I’ve been doing a lot more walking, weights, and bodyweight workouts.

In other news, while I still fit into most of my “normal” clothing, I have been given and have purchased a few maternity items, and find that they are much more comfortable. A few people have mentioned that they notice a little baby bump… I still can’t always tell if it’s you, or just my lunch showing. Either way, it’s fun to be reminded that there’s a little person in there growing. A few days ago someone mentioned how excited my mom must be to know she’ll be a grandma soon, and I had to correct them and said she IS a grandma. Yes, I’m going to be that person. You’re still tiny, but you are very real, very alive, and very much a person. I just got to hear your heartbeat again today- 160 beats per minute. If a beating heart doesn’t signify life, I don’t know what does. Your dad and I are so excited about your life and so excited to meet you! Although we’re perfectly happy to wait until September to do so. J

Finally, you went on your first roadtrip last week. It was impromptu and long, but we couldn’t miss a trip out to Montana to be with the Wisler family as we said goodbye to my cousin, Jared. I wish you could have met Jared. He was the loudest, funniest, most full-of-life person I’ve ever known. I know you would have loved him. I wish you could have watched him race motocross like I got to a couple summers ago. He was certainly impressive! I wish you could have heard him tell hilarious stories with his super loud voice. He always had us in stitches. I hope you live your life boldly and fully like he did. On Friday we will go celebrate his life and participate in his burial in Indiana. Sorry if mama cries a little more than usual; but you can be sure that those tears will be met with an equal amount of smiles and laughter, remembering his big, loud, wild life.

You are so loved, Squirt, by so many. Thanks for a pretty seamless first trimester. In just a few more weeks we’ll find out if you’re a boy or a girl! Aahh! Until then, rest easy in there, sweet babe, and just keep growing strong.

Love,

Mama