This one's for Mom

The past year has been a rough one. Almost exactly a year ago my mom was told the endometrial cancer, that the doctors thought they had taken care of, had actually spread throughout her abdomen. Chemotherapy treatment started quickly with the hopes of shrinking the tumors enough to do surgery to remove the rest. Mom battled through six months of chemo only to find out that it had done almost no good and surgery was not an option. Outside of a miraculous work of God she would only have a few short months left with us. God chose not to heal Mom on this side of Heaven, but we certainly made the most of this last year with her. We crossed things off our bucket lists and she left us with some wonderful handmade treasures and keepsakes, as well as many, many photos to cherish. We had Mom's homegoing celebration last week and I was blessed to be able to speak at it. It was genuinely a miracle that I made it through without completely breaking down. Mom was my dearest friend and someone I respect and admire so much. However, through all of this I have leaned heavily on what she taught me, and on the peace of God, which has truly surpassed my understanding.

In honor of my wonderful Mama I want to share what I said about her at her funeral. I'll warn you, it's long; and I thought of so much more I could have said, but I think it turned out perfectly; giving a glimpse into who Mom was and Who she served so faithfully. This one is for you, Mom.

"Mom was very intentional about making sure Jordan and I did not turn in to the stereotypical, awkward, unsocialized homeschool kids; so I figured I better prove her right at least one more time and share what she's meant to me.

When I think of mom I genuinely think of a Proverbs 31 woman. She seemed to be able to do it all, a jack-of-all-trades, and there wasn't really anything that intimidated her. She would try just about anything at least once. But if there's one verse that really portrays mom I think it would have to be Proverbs 31:29- 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.' And I don't want to leave it at just that; I want to tell you some of the ways my mom has done excellently.

Mom was excellent in her homemaking. She could cook, bake, sew, quilt, plan parties, host, and a myriad of other things, and I was first a blessed recipient of many of those things, but I also got to learn from the best. Dad told us about a time at the mission when they realized their girls volleyball jerseys were not legal to be played in, but there was no money in the budget, or time to get new ones. Mom told him not to worry about it, and sure enough, she worked day and night the next few days, on top of her regular duties, to make new uniforms. Those girls were the best dressed and wore those uniforms the next several years. Mom also sewed her own wedding dress and eight years ago we worked tirelessly together to design and sew my wedding dress, too. During my first semester at Moody after a weekend at home she handed me a loaf of freshly-baked zucchini bread and said, "Take this and please go make some friends." I cherish the memories of sewing together, baking together, and entering contests for our creations (most of which she won). She was certainly excellent in each of these areas.

Everyone who knows mom knows of her excellent sense of humor. When she and dad first met at the mission, dad thought he'd win some points by taking out her trash for her. When mom realized what he was doing she commented, "That trash gets taken out more than I do." Needless to say dad asked her out shortly after that. Then on one of her more recent emergency trips to the hospital she was going to end up going back for surgery, but she started telling dad that there was this rookie secret service agent that was guarding President Trump. At one point this rookie yells, "Mickey Mouse!" Right at that point they came to take mom back to surgery. It went fine, but she was having a little trouble waking up. When she was finally released from recovery dad was walking next to her bed and even though she was still groggy she said, "They captured the would-be terrorist and the captain of the Secret service asked the rookie why he yelled Mickey Mouse. Well, the rookie apologized and said, 'Sorry, I was confused. I meant to yell Donald Duck!'" Even if the joke wasn't that funny, it sure lightened the mood and proved just how tough mom really was. 

Mom was also excellent at adventures. She made all of our roadtrips from Arizona or Colorad back here so memorable and fun with strategic stops and by wrapping up little gifts and special snacks for us to open along the way. She also took Jordan and I on some other skiing, camping, and other traveling excursions. Right before one such trip she realized her pupils were two different sizes. Definitely not normal, and we probably should have stayed home for her to go see a doctor right away, but she just blew it off and said since she wasn't feeling any pain other than some random headaches, the trip was still on! Mom found out later she had a very rare neurological disorder known as Adies Syndrom, but it never seemed to cause any further issues. On one of our hikes back in the woods we saw a mouse scurry under a nearby rock. So mom and I decide it would be fun to see if we can get it to come out. So we jiggle the rock a little bit and sure enought the little mouse comes running out and shoots right up mom's pantleg, and into her jacket. Of course we both are screaming and laughing and she's dancing around like a maniac trying to get her jacket off and the mouse out. She did succeed eventually. Last May mom, Milan, and I crossed off the Holland Tulip Festival from our bucket list, and in the fall we also visited the newest Natioanl Park at the Indiana Dunes. Over the summer the entire family also spent a long weekend at the Foster's home on Winona Lake, which was a very special time and great memories. Mom always was up for a good adventure.

Mom has also loved excellently. She demonstrated it to dad, Jordan, and I, and certainly her extended family and friends, as well. In fact, I don't remember any arguments or spats I ever had with mom except for one; we always argued about who loved whom the most. One of us would say "I love you" and the other person would  say "I love you more", and finally it would go back to the other person again who would say "I love you most". That was the only acceptable argument with mom. One of the more recent demonstrations of mom's love that was so much fun to watch was her love for her grandchildren. Our kids are surely going to miss their "Bama".

But if mom could be known for doing only one thing excellently, she would certainly want it to be her love and devotion to Christ. I can still picture her kneeling to pray in the mornings at the chair or couch. Dad said after 35 years of marriage he never knew her to miss a day. And she wanted to make sure others knew Jesus, too. In the past few years she made it a habit to ask our waiter how she could pray for them, whenever we went out to eat. She talked about it boldly with her hospice nurses and hospital staff, making sure they heard the Good News. And this is no doubt what gave mom the strength to suffer and die excellently, too. I've never seen such level-headedness and meekness in the face of adversity and suffering as what mom exhibited. She taught me a lot all throughout my life, but the lessons we learned together this past year are surely some of the most powerful. We went through the book "Choosing Gratitude" together last summer and it really helped set our focus on Christ and truly being thankful and content in any situation. I'm so grateful for those times with mom.

As I think about the excellent woman mom was, I also think about this quote from D.L. Moody that I will leave you with:

Someday you will read in the papers that D.L. Moody of East Northfield, or Jackie Mundy of Wakarusa, is dead. Don't you believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now; I shall have gone up higher, that isall, out of this clay tenement into a house that is immortal- a body that death cannot touch, that sin cannot taint; a body fashioned like unto His glorious body.

And mom would want nothing more than for you to be able to say the same.